Anticipation…..
You normally think of anticipation as a positive thing – waiting for the start of the weekend or the vacation. But isn’t it really the start of something? A new beginning? There’s the anticipation of marriage – otherwise known as cold feet! There’s the anticipation of a new baby – otherwise known as a lot of different things to different people!
So is anticipation the feeling you have when you are facing change or something that is just different?
I am thinking about anticipation as I am sitting here with George at Boston Medical in the Blood Disorder wing (it needs a more upbeat name). Anticipation about today and his reaction to the treatment; anticipation about the immediate tomorrow and anticipation about the far away tomorrow.
What will our lives be like in two months? Six months? A year? Ten years? Yes, our lives will be different. But how to ensure that our lives will be better? Healthier? More loving? More joyful? Can you write and achieve goals around creating joy? What did Yoda from Star Wars say – something like “not try, do”. I am going to – my to do list will be more focused on things like hiking with Tom than on things like balancing my 401K portfolio.
Somehow it seems more important now to know my Mom’s favorite childhood hobby, the name of my husband’s favorite teacher and how to play poker so Tom and I can challenge each other.
Ps – George’s favorite teacher was his athletic coach in junior high, Mr. Paulins; he remains in George’s memory because he was fair, tough and did not have any favorites.
Today’s Journey:
Our arrival time was scheduled for 8 am; but you know that George hates to be late for anything. With our alarm set for 4:32 am, our planned departure was for 5:30 (because it may snow).
But Tom had other plans – he woke up at 3:13 am with the dreaded stomach flu. So let’s change the plan, change the sheets, change the boy, rub his back, get some ginger ale and hope for the best. Poor Tom – he was so sick! He decided it might be best just to sleep in the tub – increased efficiency and all that.
Which of course leads to guilt – what’s an Irish Catholic Mom to do when her son is throwing up and she needs to drive her husband to chemo? Thank goodness for wonderful neighbors!
We were parked in the enviable and desirable first floor of the garage by 6:40 am – so now we have an hour and twenty minutes before we need to be anywhere!
A quick cup of tea for me and some juice and a muffin for George at the Boston Medical cafeteria (wonder if we can get frequent diner discounts?), then we’re off to the waiting room. Did you know one of my talents is the ability to sleep on a rock? So I dozed for about 45 minutes while George’s anxiety level increased by the second. The next thing I knew we were headed into the treatment room.
George’s room has a lovely view – there is a building across the street that started construction when George first came to Boston Medical. It is now a full steel frame of six stories – all wrapped in a thick polyfilm that sweeps loudly in the wind. I expect by the time this is all finished there will be a new building there! On a clear day, you can see the top of the Prudential Center.
Chemo is an interesting drug – there are many different types. George had mephaline, delivered through an IV. Melphalan can be served up in different dosages – George’s was fairly strong at 134 MG – it’s normal dose is a 2 MG oral medication.
The treatment starts with an IV of saline and potassium – then an oral cocktail of sedatives and anti-nausea meds followed by ice chips. One of the yucky side effects of chemo is mouth sores. Huge, painful, disgusting mouth sores – the kind that make it impossible to swallow. A couple of years ago, a patient at Boston Medical was very concerned about mouth sores and decided that before and during his chemo, he would freeze his mouth with ice. He thought that if his mouth was frozen the chemo could not cause any damage. And it worked! So now it is standard practice at Boston Medical for chemo patients to have ice packs in their mouths right before, during and immediately following chemo. Poor George – his lips were almost blue!
Ice chips, chemo, then more saline and potassium. Lots of resting in between!
George did amazingly well! He has such a strong positive attitude! When the chemo was being “delivered”, he imagined it going into his heart and removing all the amyloid deposits.
Right now it’s 12:31 pm and George is sleeping – soon he will smell lunch and wake up, but right now he is peaceful and all is well with the world.
radiate harmony 